Dieser Blog soll dir als Inspiration dienen, deinen Körper zu schätzen, lerne, ihn zu nähren & ihm zuzuhören.
Thank you for being here.
My name is Gina Capitoni. I live in Germany – where I work as an editor, raw cake-maker, yoga teacher & healer to-be. My teachings and service on this earth are rooted in passion, ancient wisdom, intuition and creativity. I love to share good vibes. My personal journey began with hormonal imbalances which led me to honor food and movement as medicine.
The year 2016 marks my 13 year battle with hormonal imbalances and unclear skin. That’s half of my life and what feels like forever. I wanted to write about it for a really long time but it is hard and uncomfortable until this very second. The focus for the blog has shifted and changed over the last years and I wasn’t sure if it should be yet another blog with a drama about-me page. This year I decided to stop the behaviour of treating my body and its story like drama. In fact it is just a story. The story which led me to here and through which began the understanding of my true calling in life.
So before this improved way of accepting me with everything that is happening inside, I was miserable. I am only realising of how much I hurt myself with negative thinking, not accepting and loving myself enough, regrets and lack of self-confidence. As a teenager I dealt with numbing pain during my periods and acne started to make the life of an insecure 13 year old girl rather insufferable. Without thinking twice I took the pill and did not stop until 8 years later. My skin had its ups and downs during the 8 years. The best and clearest it had been the years of falling in love with my boyfriend and then leaving school. Both times when I was free + happy. But those years were also the time when I found out I do not tolerate sugar and flour. I thought my periodic impurities were caused by my diet. So I quit.
That time my true thirst for healing and knowledge about the body manifested. I can see this now from a different perspective. Having these skin issues and later hormonal imbalances evolved into educating myself about body, mind and soul healing. I developed a thirst for knowledge and turning it into a profession, eventually to help and guide others.
To change my diet was the first step, many many more steps and diet styles followed. And they were easy implement as I had a purpose. 5 years ago I stopped taking the pill. I expected fast results like I did by eating healthy. But it was and still is not fast and far from easy! The last 5 years made me question everything. I felt like I had tried absolutely everything to aid my skin, PCOS and combat infertility.
Symptoms of discomfort are our bodys way of communicating to us.
I realised my body never learned how a cycle works without the addition of the extra hormones. My natural cycle had been suppressed and my body developed a severe PMDD (Premenstrual dysphoric disorder) and PCOS ( Polycystic Ovary Syndrome). First signs were the absence of my period. Then my skin started to show the chaos of inside. It got worse every year. There were times I could not leave my house. A lot of them. A lot of tears. A lot of time to build more and more insecurity. I did not love myself and what I saw in the mirror. Self destructing behaviour and negative thinking got stronger everyday. I changed my diet often and drastically. Sometimes obsessing over it. I was confused, up all night trying to find the cure for it all, I was impatient and thought I did everything I could by having this sugar free vegan diet and doing a lot of yoga. I tried every cream, oil and mask. Every diet. Been there done that!
I felt lost. Deeply lost. Reflecting now I was not fun to be with. I was so depressed and with depression comes more imbalance and sickness. My immune system got vulnerable. I had uncontrollable mood swings, insomnia, panic attacks, fear of speaking to others. I was in a constant phase of PMS ( the uncomfortable process a woman goes through right before her period) but in my case it was for the whole month. A never ending cycle of confused and non working hormones. Constant skin breakouts, being bloated, negative thinking… Yes, this was shaping my life. It became my life. Hormonal imbalance interfered my everyday life with depression, anger, sadness, fear, panic and insecurity. Constant tiredness, mood swings, lack of interest in my daily activities and even relationships, trouble focusing and sleeping, food cravings, inability to handle stress, memory problems, deficiencies of vitamins and minerals.
Going through this process made me understand and listen to my body more than ever but it was not so easy and very confusing at times. Hormones play such an essential part and therefore it is my job to sustain their balance!
Over a year ago I decided to cut the strict diet and rules, the negative thinking and feeling insecure about my every steps. I was much more relaxed about my eating habits and started to follow a more intuitive style. It is unfair to yourself to regret and obsess over every little detail. Then I went on and added a bit of self love and a relaxed mindset about my outer appearance. Stopped obsessing, comparing and not accepting body parts and even my skin no matter what. I stopped to hide and cover my face. For years I was ashamed and sometimes still am – with powders and scarfs I wanted to hide what was going on. But hiding myself hindered myself to grow and shine. I started to do more of what I love and eat what my body told me it needed.
My skin got better, my cycles got a bit more regular. My body took a huge sigh of relief!
My cycles are regular again. My skin is not clear or healed completely to this day. My insecurities and fears are not completely gone and repared to this day. But every day I do my best to support its healing. And I do have days were my skin is glowing, my energy levels are up, I feel my very best, my emotions are not all over the place and the pain is gone. My thoughts are now soothing and kind, the food is nourishing, my choices are out of love and passion.
Let me be honest, I really do have wasted 5 years of my life not accepting and loving myself. Bam. I said it. As sad as it sounds it is so liberating to say it. The relationship with my body is the most important relationship I will have in my life. It is about finding balance, not a shallow balance, rather the more profound secrets of body & mind and addressing their underlying hormonal imbalances.
As long as it took to teach myself these negative opinions about myself, I believe it will take a while to teach myself to love and accept me truly. Healing takes some time. And I should give it its time. With patience and positive energy.
I am here to support and share my vast knowledge about nutrition, herbs and overcoming hormonal imbalances. Food that makes you feel your best and is kind to your body. Educating how to live more consciously with compassion. I am sharing from my own experience and am over the moon if I can create a spark of inspiration in you.